I'm a murderer...

I had to kill a mouse today. I hate killing things. It bothers me.

Murder Story:

My dog was FREAKING OUT running back and forth in front of the piano, so I had to go see what was going on before she either gave herself a heart attack or crashed into my piano or guitar. I knew that we had had in a mouse in the house before. That's background story #1...

Background Story #1:

So I'm laying in my bed the other night, about to go to sleep. On my nightstand I have a lamp, a coin jar, and my pet mouse. That's background story #2...

Background Story #2

This is not the mouse in question in the Murder Story. My pet mouse is a mouse I rescued from the jaws of Shari's pet snake. When we first got the snakes, they had to be fed. Shari stopped by the local petstore to get feeding mice. We were told to feed the snakes in the bathtub, because if we fed them in their own tank then they would learn to associate peoples' hands with food, which is bad. So the snake is in the tub. Shari puts the mouse in. Shari did this because I made it very clear that I would have nothing to do with feeding the snakes, AKA murdering mice. It's not my thing and I don't care what you think. So the mouse is now in there. After a few minutes, the snake attacks the mouse. It curls up around the mouse and tries to squeeze it to death. I'm out of the bathroom by this point. Again, not my thing. Shari then tells me that the mouse got away (we found out later that Anna, the snake, was pregnant, and therefore not really herself). Shari says she'll try again later. Not on my watch.

So I waited for Shari to leave for work, and I seized the opportunity to go the petstore and purchase a little mouse condo. I took the "feeding mouse" that escaped the jaws of death and gave him a home. His name is "Lucky" and he sleeps next to me in his cage on my nightstand.

BACK TO BACKGROUND STORY #1:

So I'm laying in my bed the other night, about to go to sleep. On my nightstand I have a lamp, a coin jar, and my pet mouse. My phone also charges there. So I'm about to go to bed and I have to send a last minute text, so I lean over a little to grab my phone. I turn on the lamp. There's a rustling from behind the nightstand. I wait and listen. Suddenly the lamp cord starts to shake a little. By itslelf. But not really.

It turns out that the little thing shaking the lamp cord was a tiny grey mouse, with big ears, who reminded me a lot of Despereaux, that mouse from the movie. Anyway, this little grey mouse comes out from behind my nightstand, after just climbing up via the lamp cord, and is now standing on his hind legs right beside me. My face is less than a foot from this mouse. And we're staring at each other. For a solid five seconds he stares at me, and I stare at him. He's not afraid of me. Just curious, I guess. But he soon grows bored of me and goes to check out MY pet mouse. They stare at each other through the bars of the cage for a moment, sniffing each other or whatever they do, and then the little grey mouse must have had an appointment or something because he left in quite the hurry, climbing down the way he came up. "Huh," I said. "I guess we've got a mouse."

BACK TO MURDER STORY:

My dog was FREAKING OUT running back and forth in front of the piano, so I had to go see what was going on before she either gave herself a heart attack or crashed into my piano or guitar. I knew that we had had in a mouse in the house before, so I figured that he had returned to apparently raise a little hell. So I go to the end of the piano, where he must have been hiding, and made a little racket. This, all too well, did what I intended it to do, which was to scare him out from behind there......sure enough, out comes a little mouse who's day is just about to suck.....he darts around for a little bit and then unfortunately runs straight into the unforgiving jaws of my dog, Chloe. Now, Chloe, instead of doing anything useful with the poor thing, just bit down on it, hard enough to paralyze it, and then dropped it. So now the mouse is just laying there in what I imagine was excruciating pain, so I ran over to it, and sure enough, it was my little friend from the other night. I was really pissed off. If I knew how to do mouse surgery I would have but I don't. So I did what I had to do. I took my little friend ouside in a plastic bag and brought my knife. I couldn't just let it lay there and suffer. It was the right thing to do, but dammit.....I HATE killing things. It's not my thing, and therefore, I am a murderer and today has sucked.

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